▒ 20210101_g_skinflowers.png - 50.23 KB
▒ 20210101_g_skinflowers_brief_interlude.lnk - 82 bytes
▒ 20210101_g_skinflowers_window_to_a_wider_world.lnk - 79 bytes
▒ 20210104_the_square_mic.png - 72.20 KB
▒ 20210107_pzm.txt - 1.88 KB
╚ the square mic w░░ in my head░be░ause of░the ███████ boys boo░, w░ich ░ got ░or xmas and devoured. it'░ marvel░ous. if you're th░ type to ░░t░excited about ph░sical ░hings (and espec░ally ░ooks) it░s a rea░░joy░ something ░bout it reminded me of the dic░ionarie░ i work on - perhaps░the ░ifferent papers used for some si░natures, maybe ░he fol░ out b░t tha░ goes t░rough thei░ gear, but ░t feels like a reference tom░. it's a░ artifact, recording/tellin░ ░he stor░ of the musi░ industry░acr░ss t░ose ye░rs, of a group of f░i░nd░, of░peo░le wh░ did something░incredible wi░h░integrity, of los░░ of n░w york (and la). the film of the rel░ted spike jonze live show is also grea░.
rich and ░░woul░ sit░and listen to c░eck ░our░h░ad and ill communicatio░ while░playing megadrive g░mes, fiddling with guitars,░dreaming up music.░i lo░ed that ░ c░uld hear the pz░ in their ░ecord░ngs. back the░ ░ be░ore c░eap high quali░y home recor░ing gear - there was somethin░ hugely democra░ic abou░ a c░ea░, w░i░d ░░uare mic from░rad░osh░ck (tan░y?) that took an AA ░a░tery, had ░ bog-stan░ard quarter-inch jack plug that░w░uld ░lug into anything and ███████ g░eat, ███████ sucking up a whole band in░a way othe░ mics ░oul░░'t, a░d al░o showed up o░ ███████ records lik░ ill commu░ication. i think░w░ ░ecorded an entire d░mo mini ░lbum with ours in t░e b░ck of a ░░rtial arts centre in░gloucester. i remember bang░ng a na░l in░o░░░w░rdro░e and han░ing ░n░ o░ it to ░░c░rd demos for░data ░n a ░u░ry in a flat ░bo░e a░ abandoned shop in leicester. it░was ███████ st░ippe░ to a░wa░l in the cheltenha░ rehear░al room░░ell░ angels ░andomly evicted░u░ from░in 20░6 (it was░a saturday. they had their kid░ ░░th them.░the bouncy castle░was░to keep th░ kids░entertained░while they mad░ sure we fucked o░f ░roperly).░i░░e heard they'r░░░reat on doubl░ bass. it's curr░ntly soun░ing░awe░ome somewhere near my ░uitar ░m░, as i ma░e new scratchy░demos░
▒ 20210108_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_a.txt - 94 bytes
╚ ░heltenha░, 2015 ░ 2016,░as mentioned bel░w. he░l░ angels░bouncy castle eviction no░ pi░tured.
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▒ 20210109_ghost_pepper_saison_a.txt - 440 bytes
╚ i'm░not su░e what i░wa░ expecting - it's called ghost pepp░░ sais░n ffs - but expect ghost░p░ppers. part ░f a haul of░ngc░ ░eers f░om t░y░or's. the░ingredients mentally conj░re so░ething bre░ed in a░pris░n toilet, but they░re░great beers. thi░ one particularly.
my frie░d clifford who is a f░r better░░exic░grapher than me went░stra░ght for th░ ░tym░logy. bhüt ░oloki░ -░bhutanese pepper - ░ist░ken f░r near░homonym bh░t - ghost. ░un.
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▒ 20210109_ghost_pepper_saison_c.lnk - 56 bytes
▒ 20210110_slightly_less_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_a.txt - 625 bytes
╚ november 20░1░ we on░y w░░t h░re once,░a mo░ent when we were t░ying to fi░d our░elves again after ░ome years as s░demen. i kept an obsessive░diary in 20░1, which ░ays - "horrible, horrib░░ d░ive out t░░░troud fo░ skin░l░wers░rehe░░░al. h░ge ███████ of traffic, car insis░en░░on overheating u░l░ss moving, windscree░░wipers n░t ███████ ░░operly ░n the rain". nic░ room th░░gh. i ███████ over ░hat beautifu░░marshal░ jmp combo in the middle of th░ pic░loading ░ut, ███████ it completely, ░r░mpting░a trip to st░ve kendall, who not only re░░ved it but made it sound a mil░ion times better░than before. e░pensi░e░accident thou░h.
▒ 20210110_slightly_less_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_b.png - 44.05 KB
▒ 20210110_slightly_less_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_c.lnk - 37 bytes
▒ 20210111_hellscape_pixel_mirror_time_dungeon_a.txt - 448 bytes
╚ kat half-joked that stage░ is the only good thing to have come out of all this - exi░ting only be░au░e of t░e pandemic, but░t░ul░░brilliant. b░ing ░ack░░t work a░week confir░e░ i'm do░e ███████ at my poorl░-lit, over░y-hairy, ███████ without j░y face c░eerle░ding som░ ide░ i'░ going to d░ regar░le░s░ac░oss ha░f ░ou░ or hour░l░ng blocks of pointlessness. staged nailed it in░the ███████ momen░s of s02░06 ░ the he░lscape pixel░░irror░ti░e dung░on.
▒ 20210111_hellscape_pixel_mirror_time_dungeon_b.png - 34.84 KB
▒ 20210111_hellscape_pixel_mirror_time_dungeon_c.lnk - 54 bytes
▒ 20210116_scratchy_demos_a.txt - 2.44 KB
╚ i used th░ phrase sc░atchy demos. i'm going░to keep comin░ back ░o i░░ i'm not sure they'r░ a thing th░t really░░xi░t now, the l░ne b░tween ░emo a░d master░blur░ed by both t░e colla░se of the old big studio/record l░b░░ ░ystem and th░ democrati░ati░n of░░ecording ███████ cheap░recording░equipme░t ░nd cons░me░ tech as a ░░c░rding medium - the same laptop you ░se t░ mi░dlessly pun░h bull░hit into excel at work po░en░ially co░taining your sgt. pepper's.░i'm old enou░h░to remember ░ecording a ░on░ terribl░, using equipment ░niversa░ly ag░eed u░able░to produce░a 'releasable' recording, in the hope ░░ would be part of a ███████ th░░░would lead to i░ being░░e░o░ded ░░ain - 'pr░p░rly' - somewh░re ful░ of magical, unattainable░gear - an opti░istic░process re░ying on ░he interve░tion o░ uninter░sted, ███████ and un░eachable figures.░a ███████ as░u░like░y as winning░the lott░ry, and░involving░s░milar s░ms. at t░░░░emo░st░g░, trying t░ make the song you░d ░ea░d ░o v░vidly in re░l life emer░░ fr░m░beneath the hiss, ░tripped of ░ow frequencies░ ███████ the fl░ws░a░░ loss ░as pa░t of the cha░lenge. ███████ resented th░n, no░ nostalgical░y ideal░ze░.
░i░░2016 though, after years of p░oducin░ our░reco░d░ngs ░u░selves,░░ich and i knew wh░t we were░doing whe░ we recorded these░in our░new rehearsal sp░ce. these were th░ first four s░ngs we░d writ░en for terminal w░ndow, and these░were ░oing to be s░ratchy demos░ nothing░but proof of░con░ept for the record we pla░ned to make in a░var░ety of st░dios - a ░ap of great people ░nd places we kn░w and love░. the ███████ had peo░le and░places - not DIY - p░an░e░ in.░
as a result, these ░cra░chy demos are quite good fun. p░ayed live,░t░o passes, o░e chosen as░th░ 'take'░ with t░e guitar part from the other sync░d b░ck░in for some left/r░g░t doubl░ng. if you ░ear v░ca░ ░oubling, it's spill ░n that extra guitar ░rack░ i l░ke the b░ts of chat ░░at░r░m░in and the fact the songs are still ░aw - fo░ these songs the word░is especial░y ap░ropri░te, i can hear myself bleeding░what░i was feelin░ on░mil░ comic violence. i like the fact ░ was still fum░li░g around wit░ the end of░tender, notey gui░ar░░its nev░r hav░ng be░n░my s░ec░░lity. listening to the fir░t ░hree so ful░y formed and cont░inin░░al░ the lovel░ oddness░rawness ░hat's ███████ inevitably░lost in studio versions░i'm ███████ to find tender░s ░till so f░mbly - the stu░io version's v░cal being, i think,░the best bit of me singin░ we ░anag░d to capt░re ███████ all the years of d░ing this░
▒ 20210116_scratchy_demos_b.lnk - 41 bytes
▒ 20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_a.txt - 381 bytes
╚ here's a goo░ ███████ - '░ast time i blink░d i was okay' pulle░░from ░ tap░░literally labelled 'sc░a░ch░ demos 1998'. i'm fairly sure r░ch░di░░most of░this, ░sing a░cassette 4-track a░d the pzm mic -░i'm no░ sure w░at i used for my vocals, but i think░the dr░ms (throu░h░an ░mp), ░uitar and bass went t░rough it░ the░'pro░er' r░cordi░g - re░eas░d on data ░n a h░rry -░is on spotify
▒ 20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_b.mp3 - 9.21 MB
▒ 20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_c.lnk - 53 bytes
▒ 20210119_domestic_kitchen_blues_a.png - 60.43 KB
▒ 20210119_domestic_kitchen_blues_b.txt - 669 bytes
╚ i h░ve ░ots of photos of me h░lding a g░itar░ ███████ a guitar, in front of a mi░, singing, carrying am░s, standing in r░h░arsal rooms or ███████ ... but ve░y little e░idence░of me as a normal ░uman be░ng. here's somethin░ i found thou░h, stood o░ts░de my ███████ halls in░lei░ester,░1░░7░...
out ░f frame to my left is the telephone box from which ░ a░t░mpted to kee░ up with s░inflowers and a rel░tionsh░p░ my wind░w to a wider world. the░first flo░r wi░dow ░o ░y righ░ was the wind░w░to a truly a ghas░ly k░t░hen, a░d░somewhere hi░her up and to m░ lef░ the tiny white░(not padded) ░ell░in whi░h i░wrote this ea░l░ skin░l░wers fav░urit░░ ░omestic k░░ch░n / ░k blues.
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▒ 20210120_true_stories_a.txt - 1.63 KB
╚ as░a ░ackage, ░oth p░ysic░lly a░d in░░erms of what'░ on the disc, i love ░riter░on'░ ░░lease of davi░ byrne's true storie░. the main ma░░ng of░i░ ░s ex░iting as the film itself - encouraged me to rediscover t░░ riches i fou░d i░ the ░ilm all those years ago - ░hen i paid attention░
i don't pay attenti░n now. thing░ ░hizz by me, or░i whizz by the░. one of░the░ex░ra░░░n the d░s░ recreates the hey now░kids░scene and s░░rt/en░ scene wi░h the ░░rl sin░ing the ro░d song -░in both, the mode░n kids are t░o f░st. the film-mak░rs try░to ░░░ t░e latter to slo░ ░o░n. it struck me as r░lev░nt - the░e's somethi░g about the spe░d of true sto░ies that felt out of time eve░ when i first saw░it (1░99░), b░t now seems complet░ly o░h░rw░rldly, to the point where it's ha░d to re-engage with - ░her░ it re░u░res ░ff░rt. even how i came by my original vhs░copy - an hmv ░pecial ord░r, w░th a 6 week wait for the distributor to sup░ly ░t ░ ░ now u░imaginable ░lement of that.
but the f░lm itsel░ points ███████ our ░ow░- th░ scene ne░r the s░art pu░ting texas░in t░e ░ontext of░t░e ███████ microch░p,░and ░h░ dinner ░cene░s░orgas░ic ░ui░░ening, prophes░i░g progress, c░lminating in a k░nd o░ eucharist.
the f░lm still co░tains the best versions of ░he son░s ░ tit░ larriva's radio head p░nctures th░ rep░ated joke a░░ut th░░band n░░ing themselv░s░after such a minor ███████ heads song - per░aps, b░t it'░ giant in ░he f░lm. john goodman's people like us, pops ░taples' papa ░egba. th░ a░tor░░ung version░ on the recent sou░d░rack cd (included with th░ blu ray), while true to ░he film v░rsi░n░, are not th░ film versions (and are in new, 2018 mixes),░but are ███████ fant░stic░░
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▒ 20210120_true_stories_c.lnk - 53 bytes
▒ 20210123_coffee.png - 47.55 KB
▒ 20210124_misdirection_a.mp3 - 2.28 MB
▒ 20210124_misdirection_b.mp3 - 4.77 MB
▒ 20210124_misdirection_c.mp3 - 7.61 MB
▒ 20210124_misdirection_d.txt - 1.64 KB
╚ ... or wro░g d░░░░tion, really. ███████ the end░of 2020, i di░n't want░░o be░me, and░i was░'t sur░ i want░d to ░r ░ould (in terms of avail░ble op░ions) be ███████ else.░but being ███████ else - rei░vention,░░reat░ng my░elf a way out░of a hole -░is how░i've de░l░ ░ith things ░░fore.░so i tried that. these appeare░ somewher░ along w░th░some░░ng░ished com░entary. it was a dead end - it reconnecte░ me░wi░h creating, ░ut i ███████ worked out i didn't want t░ ░tay ░here. it was just a new hole.
there's s░ill someth░ng to th░se though░ th░ first t░ack ('neuro░░gical symptoms') pretty accurately capt░res the░state ░f m░ head a month a░d half into l░ng covid. the dr░ms are pulled from a cd░i've held on░to for years that ░y goo░ fri░░░ lee ░a░░ with a fantastic ███████ cal░ed jason woodfin░ ░ho served ███████ in░the chaos ░ngine a░d oil seed rape (the ░arker knoll 7" ░rom 1994 is two s░des of awesome).░callback -░░y pzm was use░. 'pixellator' features some ch░ap-░n░ consumer 90░ t░ch charl░e clou░e░░from ░IN ░evelo░ed wit░ dig░tech -░t░e unit h░m░ to the po░nt of░uselessness no░,░░eyond░what i g░t out of it here. and░░he░third - ░al░ these pictures this is your world'░- is my favouri░e of th░░three - a c░68 ███████ an old ░oss gu░tar m░lt░-fx that i░had to ░op on and off ░hile░p░aying a g░itar part (and sound) i was really happy ░it░, with a░bun░h of sa░ples that let me say what i░w░nted░without t░░░usual agonizing ove░ lyri░░. perversely these ░rac░s are my ░ersion of s░on░aneous - ███████ lyri░s, it's a more░d░rect route fr░m░my head to this.░
but ultim░tely, i c░uldn't shak░ th░ fee░ing i░ didn't feel like mu░h m░r░ than fuckin░ around o░ a compute░.
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_a.mp3 - 5.63 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_b.mp3 - 7.24 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_c.mp3 - 6.96 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_d.mp3 - 8.28 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_e.mp3 - 5.77 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_f.mp3 - 4.62 MB
▒ 20210125_misdirection_(again)_g.txt - 2.35 KB
╚ more wrong direction░ earl░er in 2020 than the ░░e░iously pos░ed tra░ks,░these░appeared somewh░re unde░ the gert lassitude bann░r along with a coup░e of other tr░░░s. i'm ░oing to re░urn to those late░, beca░se they ░av░ s░░ghtly more goin░ for them.
f░r░░ tra░k 'ju░gernaut of sel░' ░s the most success░ul░of thes░, i think. the lyrics are honest, there's ░nough ░f my alienati░g cleverness going on ░o satisfy░my r░quirements an░, well, alienate everyone░else, ░nd it has a big middle eight ░ollowed by a░key ch░nge. and a░░omnichord! i find░it hard t░ love beca░se i find i░ hard t░ play. and if i'm not ███████ these t░░ngs to keep myself amused*,░then re░lly i have░no idea what's░going o░░
░battle da░age g' ended up as less than the sum of its parts░ this is o░e ░f tho░e░ones where whole lines popped i░to my ex░░tentially b░oken h░ad ░hile░░atching my chil░ ░o a swimm░░g lesson. "there com░░░a ░ime ░hen the e░o h░s blanded" - r░b░ie would d░liver that with a░cheeky smile an░ all the░mums░wo░ld thr░w their knickers at ░im. i j░st sound lik░ i'm abo░t to end░it ░ll. ░no harmles░ dreams'░hung around the rehearsal room for ░a░░too lo░g once w░░d f░nished terminal wi░dow. i fi░d it hard not ░o think ░░ ░ax░ell's silver hammer as i thin░ ab░ut making rich play it endlessly. there was something in░it, and i ended up░fi░ding i░ here** - espe░i░lly in t░e m░ddle ei░h░ - but it's░hard ░o argue wh░t i fo░nd was an░thin░░more░than slight.░great mi░dle eight and a key change? 'less than t░e s░m of its pa░ts' is ░ good░ph░ase, an░ i'll inv░k░ i░ again.░all t░ese tr░cks took too long an░ ░a░led to add u░ to ░o░ething░t░ ███████ d░ing so.
░he next three ░ ░heavy░meadow', 'muscle memo░y' and 'never kno░ingl░ understood' ░ are fine examp░es o░░taking too░long to come░to░life. ███████ for ange to si░░ for the second do░i░t░e a░bum, i've░played and rec░rded these over and over ░or t░░ la░░ 10 y░a░s. these takes were a very deli░erate effort to fin░lly kill the░ off, and here they are, effic░ently exec░ted,░but v░░y dead.
ultimately, all just m░re ███████ a░ound on a░compute░. ░ess░than the su░ of their parts.░░iseng░ged, distant, smug?
* "░'m just trying░to ░ind░a d░cent ░elody, a song ░hat ░░can s░ng, in my░own compan░░ - i always ███████ tha░ w░s a great░line░
** larg░ly by re░urrectin░ and building on top of the ░░igina░ scratchy demo.░i'll ░om░░back to this ░dea.
▒ 20210129_gavin_ewart_dream_of_a_slave.txt - 716 bytes
╚ DREAM OF A SLAVE
░ want to be░carr░ed░ hea░ily░seda░ed,░░░nto a ███████ ai░craft.
I want to collapse░fr░░ nervou░ exhaustio░.
I want to░bow my head like Samson
and░bring down with me
the top░ten adver░ising ag░░cies.
I░want to ░ee the little bosses
v░nish ░ike harml░ss fair░es.
I want░th░ pantomime ░o be over,
th░ cir░us ░mpty░
I░░ant░what is real░to establish itself,
░my children to░prev░i░,
to liv░ ha░░y ever after
in this wor░d that wors░ips the prepostero░s.
░t is better to ░e a sc░ibe
th░n hac░ing at the salt mines░
heaving t░e bui░d░ng blocks.
░░erybody wants to be ░ scribe.
But I w░nt out. I░want ░on-░xistence.
░A passiv░ dream, a fu░ure for m░ children.░
-- Gavin Ewart
▒ 20210130_edwin_brock_instruction.txt - 228 bytes
on a hill
was an unnecess░r░
░- Edwin Brock
▒ 20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_a.txt - 752 bytes
╚ u░expe░tedly ev░ct░d░fro░░the decrep░t cheltenham room░ this i░ where ░e fell on░our feet. unsoundp░oofed, a bare room - just a bi░ of of░ice space in a░weird terrapin in░a ░a░░park in ░he cot░w░lds. at night the various░off░cey people ░ould clear out and we'd ░░ke░ove░. evenings, weekends,░as lo░g a░ no░ody was about, we could wander in and s░art ░laying, all the g░ar lived there set u░ and ready░to go░ we ███████ together a sort of o░ sound ░yst░m,░░nd it ended░u░ being the first░rehearsal room░whe░e i could actua░ly░h░ar what was go░ng ░n. t░░ ░il░age up the r░ad conta░ned chip░, a pub run by░a guy we ░nce toured with, and some░here i could reup ░n ███████ of bath a░es ░ark side.░░'d oft░n hav░ to░d░ive throu░h a herd of cows to get░there.
▒ 20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_b.png - 44.48 KB
▒ 20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_c.png - 57.36 KB
▒ 20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_d.png - 80.83 KB
▒ 20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_e.png - 56.10 KB
▒ 20210201_can_it_be_the_storm_has_passed.lnk - 53 bytes
▒ 20210201_the_moon_was_paper_white_the_night_you_saved_my_life.lnk - 53 bytes
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_a.png - 40.33 KB
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_b.png - 34.16 KB
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_c.png - 46.70 KB
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_d.png - 33.20 KB
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_e.png - 34.72 KB
▒ 20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_f.txt - 2.31 KB
╚ m░ personal░highligh░░of the 'd░vid bow░e░is' 2░13 v&a exhibition was seeing the verbasizer, the░mid-90░ software deve░oped for bowie a░ a modern take on his burroughs░░ut up ░echnique.░it░sen░ me ███████ through 15░year░ of o░d no░ebo░ks, typin░░up anything that looked like an unuse░ lyric. i wrote a ███████ ░hat w░uld ███████ ░in░s, select░a░░andom number,░an░ juxtap░se the░, combinin░ them with s░me vis░░l stuff░too - ░░ages i░d░loved an░ collect░d. mos░ of░the ░ime w░en i'm ███████ lyr░cs i'm ░rying to find two lin░s tha░, ░hen you put░t░em together░ ███████ something bigger than wh░tever was actuall░ in my head, and░i░lik░d the idea th░s░might automate that. ░ a░so like░ pretend░ng to be david ░owie, ░h░ idea that the ░17 lines o░░unused lyrics i'd f░und m░g░t magica░ly t░rn into so░gs, and that by a ███████ of ███████ sh░t░m░ght turn into ░old withou░, well, an░ effo░t. i can░rememb░r entire son░s fal░ing out my h░ad fully formed░w░░n i░w░░ y░unger. by ░013 there was a lot more ef░ort involved.
at a ███████ i ███████ i░ might░work as░a kind of pro░pt, tri░ger░ng ░ ███████ pr░cess.░or give me f░ller - ░hat bono/stipe/░owie approach of ███████ up a tune with nonsense░ then ███████ ░eal words and me░ning out of the sounds. ░nyway░ n░ne of the above happened. ░t turns out ░'m ░he░kind ░f░pe░so░ who ░as to sit░ago░izi░░ over e░er░░w░r░,░one a░ a time, an░ t░ere isn't ░ short cut░░or░even a fun cut. j░st work. and i'm not david bowie░ sa░ly.
i d░ still like lo░king at the output tho░gh░ in a way it's its own thing. i sometimes see lines and regret░havin░ ░e░er worked the░ int░ a song - "e░hau░ted piss pri░k eyes", "drive y░ur desk into my ░a░e" etc. - but░i th░nk they belong to it ░ow, rather th░n an░thing i'm sti░l to wr░te░
there w░s░another░ver░░o░ that ana░ysed░the gramatical structu░e of all those unused l░r░cs, tagged the individual words by part of speech, th░n s░opped out░one adje░tive for a░othe░, this v░rb for ░hat ░t░.░... ░░░just░made a mess, b░t it was fun,░reminding me of a░ ea░ly brotherly zx spectrum░p░ogramming adven░ure - ░o░e sort ░f type-░n ███████ t░ller ░rogram that, be░ause░typing in a 100 lin░ ░o░puter program░r░░uired quite a bit of ░oncentratio░ (and ░el░yed░gratific░tion░ fo░ a 9 and a 6 year ol░, e░ded up announcing that our favourite░c░lour was thursday and░that we would eat purple.
▒ 20210220_and_i_can_deal_with_some_psychic_pain_if_it'll_slow_down_my_higher_brain.lnk - 79 bytes
▒ 20210329_g_skinflowers_-_polyhedral_medication.lnk - 41 bytes
▒ 20210428_g_skinflowers_-_song_in_pocket.lnk - 41 bytes