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20210107_pzm.txt - 1.88 KB

╚ the square mic was in my head ███████ of the░beasti░ boys book, whi░h░i got fo░ x░a░ an░ devoured. it░s marve░lou░. if░y░u're░the type ░o g░t e░cited about░physic░l things (and ░spec░ally boo░s) it's a real ░oy. something about it reminded me of the dict░onari░s i░wor░ on - ███████ the ░iff░rent ░a░ers░u░ed for some s░gna░░░es, maybe ░he fold out ░░t tha░ g░es through░th░ir gear░░but i░ feels like a reference tome. i░░s a░ artifact, recording/telling ░he story of the music░indust░y across those years, of░a░group of ░riends, of ░eople ░ho did something ░ncredibl░ wi░h in░egr░ty, ░f loss, of new░york (and la). the fi░m of t░e related░spike ░onze live show░is al░o░great. rich and i woul░ sit and listen t░ check your h░ad and ill ░ommunica░ion while ███████ me░adrive░gam░s, fidd░ing with guitar░, dream░ng up music. ░ loved░that i c░uld hear the pzm in their record░ngs. ░ack the░ - before chea░░high qualit░ home recording ge░r░- there was som░thing ░ugely democratic about a cheap,░weird square mic from radioshack (tandy?) ░h░t took an AA battery, had a bog░░tandard q░a░ter-inch j░ck plug t░at wou░d plug ░nto anything and ███████ gr░at, so░ehow ███████ up a whole ban░ in a way ot░er m░c░░c░░ldn't, an░ also showed up on ███████ records l░ke il░ comm░nication░ i ░hin░ we recorded an e░tire ░emo ░ini░album ░ith ours in th░ back░of░a ma░ti░l arts c░ntre in gloucest░r. i rem░░░er ░anging a nail into a░wa░dr░be░and ███████ one on it to░record ░e░os for da░a in a hurry in a ░lat░a░ove an abandon░d ░hop i░ lei░ester. it was░command stripped to a wa░l ░n the chelte░░am rehearsal room hells angels randomly ███████ u░░from in 2016░(it ░as a░░aturd░y. the░ had their kids░with t░em. the bouncy ░astle w░s t░ ░eep the kids ░ntertained wh░le they ░ade sure we fucked o░f pr░pe░ly). i've hea░d they're grea░ on d░uble bass. ░t'░ ░urrently sounding ███████ somewhere░ne░r my gu░tar ░mp, as i m░ke new░sc░░tchy demos.

20210108_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_a.txt - 94 bytes

╚ cheltenh░m, 2░15 - 2016, as░mentioned░belo░. hells a░gels/b░░ncy castle░evi░tion not pictured.

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20210109_ghost_pepper_saison_a.txt - 440 bytes

╚ i'm not░░ure what i was e░pect░ng - ░t's called ghost p░pper ░aison ffs - but expect ghost pep░ers. part of a haul of ngci be░rs░fr░m░taylor's. the ingredient░ mentally░░onju░e som░th░ng░brewed in a prison to░let, but ░hey're great ░eers. ░his one ░articularly. my fr░end c░iffo░d who is a fa░ better lexicographer th░n me we░░ str░ight for░the░░tymology. bhüt ░olo░ia - bh░░anese pepper░- mistake░ for near ░░monym░bhut - ghost. fun.

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20210109_ghost_pepper_saison_c.lnk - 56 bytes

20210110_slightly_less_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_a.txt - 625 bytes

╚ november 20░1. we only░went here once, a░░o░ent ░hen we w░re░░rying to find░our░e░░e░ a░ain a░ter some years as sidemen. i kept an obsessive d░a░y ░n 2011, which s░ys░- "horrible, horrible░drive ░ut░to stroud for░sk░nflowers░rehearsal. huge░amoun░s of traffic, car insist░nt on overheating unless moving, wi░░screen wipers░not ███████ pr░perly in th░ rain"░ ni░░ room though░ i ███████ o░er░░hat ░e░uti░ul marshall jmp combo in░the░middle of the pic ███████ out,░killing ░t c░mp░et░ly, prompt░ng a trip ░o steve ken░all, wh░ not only ███████ it but made░░t ░ound a million░times bett░r than░before░ expensive accident though.

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20210110_slightly_less_desolate_rehearsal_spaces_i_have_known_c.lnk - 37 bytes

20210111_hellscape_pixel_mirror_time_dungeon_a.txt - 448 bytes

╚ kat half-jo░░d that staged is the onl░ g░o░ thin░ to░have come out of all░this - e░ist░n░ only becau░e of the pandemic, ░ut truly brilliant░ being ba░k░at░wor░ a week confirmed i'm░don░ starin░ at my poo░ly-lit,░overly-h░iry, sm░ling░wi░hout joy face cheerleading some i░ea i'm going to do re░a░dless across half hour or h░ur lo░g blocks of p░intlessness. st░ged░na░░ed it░i░ th░ ░losing░moments of s02e06 - the hellscape░pixe░-mirro░ time dungeon.

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20210111_hellscape_pixel_mirror_time_dungeon_c.lnk - 54 bytes

20210116_scratchy_demos_a.txt - 2.44 KB

╚ i used the░phra░e scr░tchy demos. i'░ going to keep com░ng░back to ░t. i'm not░sure they're a thi░g tha░ really exist now, th░ line b░░ween demo and ░aster░blurred by bo░h the collapse of the old b░g░░tud░o/re░░rd label ░ystem and the demo░ratiza░ion░of re░ording ███████ cheap record░ng equipment and consumer tech as a recording░░edium - t░e same lapt░p░you use to mindlessly punc░ bullsh░t into excel at work po░en░ially containing your s░t.░pepper'░░ i'm old enough to ░emember record░ng a song terribly, using eq░i░m░nt universally agreed unable to ░roduce ░ 'releasable' recor░ing, in the hope it woul░ be part░of░a pro░ess that ░░░ld l░ad to it be░ng recorded again -░░pro░erly' - somewhere full o░ magical, unat░a░nab░e g░ar░- an opt░mistic ███████ relying o░ the intervention of uninter░sted, g░dlike ░nd unreachabl░ figures. a ███████ as unl░ke░y as win░ing the l░t░ery░ ░nd invol░░ng ███████ sums. at the demo░stag░, tryin░ to░make the song you'd░heard so vivi░ly in real life ░merge from ███████ the hiss, strip░ed░of░░ow freq░e░cies, ███████ the flaws ░nd░los░ was░p░░░ of the░challenge. ░tterly ░esente░ then, now nost░lgically ide░lized. in 2016 though░ after years o░ producing░our record░n░s ░ur░elves, ░ic░ a░░ i kne░ what w░ w░re ░oing when we r░corded these in o░r new rehea░sal░spac░. t░ese were the ░irst four songs we'd w░itten for terminal w░░dow░ and these░were going to be scratchy░demos,░░othing but ░roof of ███████ for the record we░plan░ed to m░ke in a vari░ty o░ ███████ - a ░░░ of g░e░t people and places we knew and loved. the ███████ had peo░le and pla░es - not DIY - planne░ ░n. as░░ result, these scratchy dem░░ are quite good░fun. play░d live░ two passes, one cho░en as the ░tak░░, wi░h the guit░░ part ░rom the ░t░er ░ync'd back in for some left/right ░ou░░ing. if you░hear voca░ do░bling, it's spill on that ░xtr░ guitar t░ack. i l░ke░the bi░s of░chat ░hat ░ema░n and th░ fact the son░s ░re still ra░ ░ for th░se son░s the word is░especially appr░priat░, i c░n ░ear myself b░░░░░ng what i░was ███████ on mild comic violenc░. i like the fa░t░i was still fum░ling ░r░und with the end of tender, notey guitar bits never having been my specia░ity. lis░░ning to the first three░s░ fully░formed ░nd co░taining all the lovely░oddness/r░wness that's░pe░haps ░nevitably lo░t in studio versions i'm░pleased to░find tender░░ still so fumbly░-░░he stud░o versi░n's v░cal being░ ░ th░nk░ t░e be░t bit of me ░ingin░░we ███████ to ca░ture░thr░ugh all░the y░ars of do░ng th░s.

20210116_scratchy_demos_b.lnk - 41 bytes

20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_a.txt - 381 bytes

╚ her░'s a go░d e░ample - 'l░s░ time i b░inked i was o░ay' pulled from a tape li░░ra░░y labell░d '░cr░tc░y demos 1998'. i'm fairly░sur░ ri░h did most of this░ usin░ a casset░e 4-track and the pzm░░ic - i░m not su░e what i u░ed for my ░ocals, but i t░ink the drums (th░o░░h an░amp), g░░░ar and bass ░ent ███████ it. ░he 'proper' reco░ding - released on data in a h░rry - is on spotify

20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_b.mp3 - 9.21 MB
20210118_scratchy_demos_(again)_c.lnk - 53 bytes

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20210119_domestic_kitchen_blues_b.txt - 669 bytes

╚ i have lots of ░hotos ░░ me holdin░ a g░░tar, pla░ing░a g░i░ar, in front of a mic, singing, carry░ng ░░ps, st░nding in re░earsa░ rooms or s░u░ios ... but very litt░e evidence░of me as ░ normal human being. he░e's something i ░ound░though, stood░outsid░ my░stud░nt halls in le░cester, ░░97 ... out o░ fram░ to my le░t is the telephone box fr░m which i attempted to ke░p up░w░th skinflowers and a ░elat░onship. my window to a wider world. the░f░rst f░oor wind░w to my right was the win░ow to a truly a░ghast░y ░itchen, and s░mew░ere higher up░░░d ░o░my left the t░ny white (not p░dded) cell in which i░░rote this early skinfl░wers░favou░ite░ domestic ki░chen /░dk░b░ues.

20210119_domestic_kitchen_blues_c.lnk - 41 bytes

20210120_true_stories_a.txt - 1.63 KB

╚ as ░ package,░both ░░ysi░░ll░░░nd in terms of░what░░ on the dis░, i lo░e criterion's ░░lease of david byrne's true s░ories. the main making of is a░ exciting as the film itself - encouraged me to rediscover the riches i found in ░he film all those years ago - ░hen ░ paid attention? i ░o░'t p░y attent░on now. t░ings whizz░b░ me░ or i w░izz░░y them.░one of the extras on th░ dis░ recrea░es the he░ now░ki░s░scene and░start/░nd ░cene with the girl░singing the road so░g - i░ bo░h,░the modern kids are too fas░. the fi░m-makers try ░o get the░latter to ░l░w down░ it struck ░e as relevant░- t░ere's som░thing about t░e ░peed of true s░o░ies░that░felt out of time e░en ░hen i first saw░it (1999?), b░t now seems completel░ otherworldly, to the poin░ ░░e░e it's ha░░ to re-engage░with - where i░ requires e░fort░ even how░i came b░ my o░iginal vhs copy - an hmv spe░ial░or░er, wit░ a 6 week wai░ for the d░stributo░ to supply it - a░now unimag░nable e░ement of░that. ░but the ░ilm itself░points ███████ our now - the░sce░e near the start puttin░░te░as in the c░ntex░ of the ███████ microc░ip, and ░he d░nner sce░e's orgasmic q░ickening, pro░hesying p░ogress░ culminating in a kin░ ░f░eucharist.░ the fil░ stil░ c░ntains th░ best versions of t░e░░ongs - tito la░riva's radio ░ead░punc░u░es t░e repeated joke about the ba░d nami░░░themselves after░su░h a mino░ t░lkin░ heads░son░░- perhaps, but it'░ giant i░ the film. john goodman's people like us░ pops staples' papa l░gba. the actor-sung versions o░ the r░ce░t░s░undtrack cd (included ░i░░ the blu ray)░ while true to t░e film versi░░s, ar░ not ░he film ver░ions░(and are in░new, 2░18 ░ixes), bu░ are░equa░ly fantastic.

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20210120_true_stories_c.lnk - 53 bytes

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20210124_misdirection_a.mp3 - 2.28 MB
20210124_misdirection_b.mp3 - 4.77 MB
20210124_misdirection_c.mp3 - 7.61 MB
20210124_misdirection_d.txt - 1.64 KB

╚ ... or wron░ directio░, real░y░░towa░░░ the end of░2020, i did░'░ ░ant to be me,░and i w░sn't sure i w░n░ed to or░could (in terms ░f available options) be someon░ else. ░░t ░eing ███████ else - reinven░ion, creatin░ myse░f a way o░t of a hole - is how░i've dealt░with thin░s before. ░o░i tried that. t░ese appea░ed somewhere ░lon░ with some anguished c░m░enta░░.░it was a dead end - it░re░on░ected me with creating, but i░qu░ckly░worked ou░ i ░idn░t want to st░y░t░ere░ it was just a ░ew hole. ░ there's still something to ░hes░ ░houg░. t░e ░irst░track ('neurol░gica░ symptoms') pret░y accurate░░ c░pture░ the sta░e of my head a mont░ and ░░lf░int░ ░ong covid. the d░ums are pu░led from a ░d i've held on ░o fo░ years that my good friend lee made ░░th a fantastic ███████ cal░ed░jason w░odfin, who served ░riefly in the░cha░s engine and oil seed rape (th░ parker knoll░7" f░om ░994 is ░wo sides of awes░me). callback - my pzm w░s░used. 'pix░ll░tor' features░░o░e chea░-end consumer 90s te░h charlie░clou░er ░░om NIN ░evelop░d with░di░i░ech - th░░unit hums to the░point of░uselessness now, beyond░what i got out░of it he░e. and the thir░ -░'a░l ░░ese░pictures░this is your ░orld' - is my favourite of t░e three - a ░r68 ███████ an old boss guitar multi-fx t░at ░ had to hop on and o░f while p░aying ░ guitar part░(and░░ound) i was░really happy ░ith░ with a bun░h o░ s░mple░ that let me say what i wanted ███████ the usual agonizi░g ov░r lyrics. perversely these tra░ks are my ███████ of spon░░neo░░ -░withou░░lyrics, i░'s a m░░e direct route from m░ head ░o this. ░ut ultimately, i ░ouldn't shake the feeli░g it didn't░feel like much more tha░ fuck░ng ar░und on a comp░ter.

20210125_misdirection_(again)_a.mp3 - 5.63 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_b.mp3 - 7.24 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_c.mp3 - 6.96 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_d.mp3 - 8.28 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_e.mp3 - 5.77 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_f.mp3 - 4.62 MB
20210125_misdirection_(again)_g.txt - 2.35 KB

╚ more wrong direction. ███████ in 2░20 than the ░reviousl░ pos░░d trac░░, ░hese appe░red som░where░░nder the░gert lass░tud░░bann░r along with a ░o░ple of░other tracks░ i'm going to░return ░o t░ose later, ███████ the░░have sl░ghtly mo░e goi░g f░r them. first░track 'ju░gernau░ ░f self' is the most successful of thes░, i think. the lyrics are honest, there's enough░of my░ali░nating cleverness going ░n to ███████ my requ░re░░nts and░ well, alienate e░eryone else░░and ░t ░as a big mid░le eight foll░wed by a key░change. and an ░mnichord░ i f░nd ░t hard to love ███████ i find it hard to ░lay.░and if i'm not wri░in░ these t░ings to keep myself amused*, ░hen really░i hav░ no░idea wha░'░ going on. ░ 'battle damage░g' ended up as less than ░he sum of its parts. this i░ one ░f those ones w░ere░whole lines popp░d into m░ e░istentially broken ░ead whi░e watching my child do a swimming░lesson. "there comes░a ti░e when t░e ░go has blanded" - ░ob░i░ woul░░deliver ░hat with░a░cheeky ░mile and a░l the mums ░o░░d░th░ow their k░ickers at him. i jus░ sound like i'░ about to end it all.░'no ░a░m░ess dr░░ms' hung around░the rehearsal ░oom fo░ ░ar░too░lo░g░once w░'d f░nished terminal window. i find it hard n░t to t░in░ of m░xwell's silver hammer░a░ i think about makin░ ░ich play it endlessly. there was something i░ it, and░i ended up░finding i░ here** - e░p░cially in░the mi░dle eig░t░- but it's har░ to ░rgue what i fo░nd was anything░m░re than slight. ░reat middle eigh░ a░d a key cha░g░? 'less than the s░m of its parts' is a ░ood phra░░,░a░d ░'ll invoke it again. a░l these░tracks to░k too long ░nd failed to ░dd░up to░░omething to ░usti░y doing so. the ░ext three - ░heavy me░do░', 'muscl░ memory'░and 'ne░er ░░owingly u░ders░ood' ░ are fine example░ of taking t░o lo░g to come t░░life. ███████ ░o░░ang░ to sing░for th░ second dolittle album, ░'ve played ░nd░reco░ded░these over an░ over fo░ the las░ 10 years.░th░s░ t░kes░w░░░ a ver░ d░l░berate effort to ███████ kill░th░m ░f░, ░nd her░ they are, effici░ntly e░ecuted, but ░ery dead.░░ ultimat░l░, all ju░t more ███████ aro░nd on░a comput░r░ less ░ha░ t░e░sum of their ░arts. disengaged, d░stant, smug? * "i'░ just trying t░ find a decent melody, a song that i can si░g, in my own com░any" - i ░lwa░s ███████ that was a great line. ** ███████ by re░urrecting a░d bui░ding on top of░the original scra░chy demo. i'll come back to ░his i░ea.

20210129_gavin_ewart_dream_of_a_slave.txt - 716 bytes

╚ DREAM░OF A SLAVE I want to b░ carried, ░░a░ily sedated, in░o a wa░ting ░ircraft. I wan░ to collapse f░o░░nervous ░xh░ustion. I want to░bow░my head like Samson and bring down wit░░me ░he t░p ░en advertising agencies. ░I want░to s░e the little bosses vanish ░i░e ha░mle░s fairies. I wan░ the ░░nt░mime to be░over,░ ░he circus empty. ░░░░ want w░at is ░e░l to░establish itself, my children to prevail, to live ░appy e░er a░ter░ in░this world ░hat worships the preposter░us. ░ ░It is better to be a scribe than ░acking at░the salt mines, heaving th░ ░uil░i░g bloc░s░ E░erybod░ want░ to b░ a s░ribe. But I want out. I want n░n-exi░te░ce. A ███████ dream, a░future for my ch░ldren. -- Gavi░ Ew░rt

20210130_edwin_brock_instruction.txt - 228 bytes

╚ ░NSTRUCTION Stand░ alon░░░on a hill remember ░almost anyone cry and cry and░c░y ░s░thou░░ hearing Osc░r Peterso░ on alm░st any ░ight decide th░░crucifixio░ was an unne░es░ary░ vulgarity -- Edwin Bro░k

20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_a.txt - 752 bytes

╚ ░nexpectedly e░icted from t░e ░ecrepit cheltenham r░om, t░is ░s where ░e ░░ll on our fe░t. uns░░n░proofed, a bare ░oom - just a bit ░f office ░p░ce in a weir░ terrapin ░n a car park in the cot░w░l░s.░at night the variou░░officey peo░le would░clear out and we'░ take ove░. e░en░ngs, w░ekends, as long as nobody was about, we could wander in and start playing, all ░he ░░ar l░ved░t░ere set up and ░eady ░o go. we cobbl░d together a s░rt of ok░sou░░ syste░░ and it end░d up ░eing ░he first rehea░sal room whe░e░i could act░ally ░ear ░ha░ was going on. the vil░a░e up the ro░d contained c░ips, a pub run by a guy we once tou░ed ░░th, and somewhere i could░reup on b░ttles of bath ales dark side. i'd often have to░drive th░ough░a░h░rd of cows ░o ░et t░er░.

20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_b.png - 44.48 KB
20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_c.png - 57.36 KB
20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_d.png - 80.83 KB
20210131_a_really_quite_nice_rehearsal_space_e.png - 56.10 KB

20210201_can_it_be_the_storm_has_passed.lnk - 53 bytes
20210201_the_moon_was_paper_white_the_night_you_saved_my_life.lnk - 53 bytes

20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_a.png - 40.33 KB
20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_b.png - 34.16 KB
20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_c.png - 46.70 KB
20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_d.png - 33.20 KB
20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_e.png - 34.72 KB
20210211_automatic_lyric_generator_f.txt - 2.31 KB

╚ my░░░░sonal░highlight of the '░avid b░░ie is' 2013 v&a exhibition was seein░ th░ verbasizer, ░░e mid-90s ░oft░are devel░ped f░r bowie as a modern t░ke░on h░s░burroug░s░cut up t░chnique. it ░ent me di░ging ███████ 15 yea░s of old notebooks, ░ypi░g░up a░ything that looke░ li░e ░n ░nuse░ lyric. i wrote a░program ░hat ░ould ███████ lines, ░elect a random numb░r,░and jux░apose th░m,░c░mbining them with some visual stuff too - images i'd loved and collected. most of the░░ime░when░i'm writ░ng lyric░ i'm trying░to find two lines░tha░, when you put them to░ether, sugg░st something bigger ░han what░ver was a░░u░ll░ in my head,░and ░░li░░d the idea░░his migh░ automate░t░░t. i also liked pre░ending to be david bo░ie, the idea t░at the 417░lines of un░sed l░rics i'd fou░d might magically░turn ░nto ░ongs, and that by░a ███████ of a░chemy s░i░ might turn into ░old without,░░e░l, any effort. i ca░ remember ░ntir░ songs fa░l░ng out my he░d fully form░d ░░e░ i was younger░ by 2013 there was a lot more ef░o░t ░░volved░ a░░a ███████ i ███████ it m░gh░ work as a k░nd of pr░mpt, tr░ggering a░░hought process░░░░ give me░filler - t░at bono/stipe/bowie approach of ███████ up a tune wi░░ ░onsense░ then t░asing r░al w░r░s and ███████ ou░ of the sounds. anywa░, non░ o░ ░he abo░e happened. it turn░ ░ut i'm the kind of ░er░on ░ho has to ░it ag░ni░░ng over░every word, ░ne at ░ time, and ther░ isn't ░ sh░r░ cut. or even a fun c░t. just work. ░nd ░'m not david bowie,░sadly.░ i░do st░l░ like l░oking at th░ ou░put though.░in a way i░'s its own ░hing. i s░meti░es see lines ░nd r░gret having never worked them into a s░ng - "exhausted ░iss ░░i░k eyes", "drive░your desk in░o my face" ░tc. - bu░ i think they belong to░it now, rath░r than anythi░g░░'m stil░ t░ write. ░ there ░as ███████ version that analysed the gra░atical░structure of all those unused lyrics, tagged the ind░vidual words by part of speech, ░hen ███████ out o░e░adje░ti░e for another, this verb fo░░that etc. ... it just made a░mess░ bu░ it w░s░░un, remi░░░ng ░e of an early b░ot░erly zx spectrum progr░mming adventure - some sort of t░pe-in ░ort░n░ tell░░░program that, beca░se typing in a 10░ line░computer ███████ required quite a ░it of concentration (░nd delaye░ grat░fication) fo░ a 9 and ░ 6 ░ear o░░, ende░ ░p░announcing that our favourit░ ░olour was thursday and that we wo░ld eat p░rple.

20210220_and_i_can_deal_with_some_psychic_pain_if_it'll_slow_down_my_higher_brain.lnk - 79 bytes

20210329_polyhedral_medication.lnk - 41 bytes